Beyonce song single ladies hand

10 Things Men Can Do When A Beyonce Song Plays at the Dancerie

One day my husband and I were having a conversation about Beyonce and he said something that shocked me. “Guys can’t dance to Beyonce songs.” I immediately protested. Beyonce makes fun, danceable songs for the whole wide world, including men! He was insistent. “A straight man can’t go to the dance floor when “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” comes on. That song’s for women. I’m cool with that.” I checked with a male coworker and he agreed: dancing to a Beyonce song was a slight violation of Man Code.

Not even “7/11” ?! I had no idea!

At that moment, I started wondering exactly when men do when a Beyonce song comes on at the dancerie, or the pordee, or the function, or on the radio.

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Is the Phrase “I Don’t Need a Man” Really that Terrible?

I have sat under pastors decrying women who say “I don’t need a man” as lonely and misguided.I have also seen meme upon meme mocking (especially Black) “independent women who don’t need no man.” (You have to say it all together or it doesn’t work). Usually, the rebuttal I hear is that everyone needs other people. It’s true that no man (or woman) is an island. “I don’t need a man” is not only a declaration of refusal, it’s a gender-specific one. No one likes rejection, and an outright blanket statement like that takes men out of the running before they hit the starting block. I get it.

I also know women who don’t need a man. And I don’t exactly see what’s so terrible about it.

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announcement new baby Truly Tafakari

30-Day Catch Up: New Baby, New City, New Hair, and New Beginnings!

Hey fam. Happy September! What’s it been, about a month since I checked in with you all? So much has changed in the past 30 days that I have barely been able to keep my wig on. I want to say I’ll be back to posting at my regular schedule starting the beginning of October. But the way my life is set up now? The best I can do is this 30-day catch up on all the new beginnings! Hold on to your seats.

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father and son child

#BlackFathersWeek | A Stepfather’s Love for His Child

On this final (belated) entry of #BlackFathersWeek, I thought it prudent to feature the voice of a father who helped raise a son who was not his by blood. I also was co-raised by my stepfather; it was important to me to include surrogate fatherhood in this collection of narratives. Writer Victor Masoliah shares a poignant story demonstrating the love stepfathers put into child-rearing is no less strong.

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#BlackFathersWeek | Purpose: Fathers Are Rocks to Hold Onto

#BlackFathersWeek has explored in large context what fatherhood means to Black men, and for Black manhood. But today’s father, Marc Joseph, shows us how one small moment watching someone else be a father illustrated to him his own purpose in his daughters’ lives.

“The little girl to the right was crying her eyes out in sheer terror. She was afraid beyond your regular passenger jitters. She was terrified. Her dad seated to her left grabbed her hand and held on to it.

This was the purpose of fatherhood in one small gesture.”

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#BlackFathersWeek | Fatherhood Made Me “Be the Man I Wanted My Sons To Become”

Today is the fifth installment of #BlackFathersWeek at Truly Tafakari, where Black men have the floor to define and celebrate fatherhood for themselves, without filter. I asked three brothers to give me their perspectives on what their children have taught them. Their answers might surprise you.

“I became a father before I knew the true definition of what it meant to be a man. My father was active in my life and I had a great example but we all make our own way.
I came of age and developed into my manhood while at war. However, that was definitely not the place to learn how to connect with my sons. Actually I had to unlearn some of that behavior.

Being a father has made me a man; with flaws, but a man nonetheless because I see those flaws as opportunities for learning and growth. “

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Daniel and Zoe Seahorn #BlackFathersWeek LaurenMichellePhotography

#BlackFathersWeek | I wasn’t ready to be a father, but refused to fail

It’s the fourth installment of #BlackFathersWeek at Truly Tafakari, where Black men tell us their truths about being good fathers. Our guest blogger for today is football coach Daniel Seahorn, sharing what it means to sacrifice a dream for family and still win.

I often think back to the times prior to my daughter Zoe making her big arrival, and the question I got the most was if I was ready to be a father. Well, the answer was no, but I had no choice but to be ready when the time came because I absolutely refused to be a failure as a father. At the time I had just taken a job I had always wanted (coaching football), but it required me to be over a thousand miles away from my then-pregnant girlfriend and my daughter, who I had yet to meet.

I was between a rock and a hard place.

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Darrk Gable #BlackFathersWeek

#BlackFathersWeek | From Brother to Brother: 7 Impending Fatherhood Lessons for Black Men

Today is the third installment of #BlackFathersWeek at Truly Tafakari, where Black men have the floor to define and celebrate fatherhood for themselves, without filter. Our guest blogger for today is @DarrkGable, a writer and father with words of wisdom for brothers who are expecting their first child.

“I didn’t have an older brother to “give me the real” about how life was going to inevitably change after fatherhood. Some days you’ll want to throw stuff (and people). Other days you’ll wonder how you could be so blessed. It’s all part of the journey of having a family. Your outlook on life will play a big part in how you view the days. Just know that at the end of them, you can only do what’s in your power to.”

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