dara schultz living my someday

Everyone Likes Double Ds: Dara meets her twin, Dara!

Today I have a very special guest filling in for me. Her name is Dara. Before you think I’m getting all Beyoncé–Sasha Fierce on you, I really do mean there’s another Black blogger out there named Dara! She’s a gorgeous brown-skinned wife and mama who writes at Living My Someday. But enough of me talking—I’m going to let her tell you about herself! We decided to introduce ourselves to our respective blog communities, because everyone likes double Ds. Meet Dara Schultz…

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sunflower sunlight

I am the first person ever to cry listening to Pharrell’s “Happy”

I listened to “Happy” today, because I still love that song. And then I remembered that she probably loved that song, too. It reminds me of her: silly, earnest, optimistic, irrepressible. Tears, again, slid down unbidden. I bopped in my chair, crying, because I never got to dance to “Happy” with her. And then I laughed, because I’m probably the first person ever to cry listening to that infernal song. This, too, is grief: pain through a parade of happy memories. The echo of a laugh too swiftly stolen from you. The gilded edge of the things you tell yourself to assuage guilt.

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queen-elsa-good-girl

Why I Am Not Teaching My Daughter to Be a “Good Girl”

All my life, I’ve been the “good girl.” That’s not to say I’m perfect or I’ve never done anything foul in my life. Being a “good girl” has more to do with the conventions you follow and the perceptions you fulfill. And after playing this role almost my entire life, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not something I want to model for my daughter. I’ve decided I don’t want to teach her to be a “good girl.”

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10 Years After Joining Facebook: a Journey in Photo + Essay

Are you on Facebook (anymore?) I still am. I joined Facebook in late 2005. It has now been nearly 10 years exactly since I joined the social networking service. Wow. I don’t think when I joined FB that I anticipated being on it a decade later. I don’t think any of us foresaw this. I remember vividly when it expanded to yo mama and yo cousins, too, prompting us graduating college students to delete incriminating photos. Ah, how times have changed and stayed the same all at once.

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